The BODcast - S2: E8

Guess who’s back, back again - haha, who the hell else would it be? It’s episode 8 of the BODcast - today, talking about something I touched on in my first episode. Let’s discuss why body acceptance isn’t fat liberation - and - why I make space for both.

Some people know body acceptance as body neutrality, or may have mistaken body positivity for it, but the truth is that neither of those things quite cover what acceptance is. 

In an article for Goop, Jessamyn Stanley speaks about body acceptance and reading the words feels like seeing my thoughts on paper before I’ve had the chance to think them. In the opening of the article, a perfect summary: We do need to get to a place of caring about our bodies in the way that we care about any other possession. You want to take care of your body and your health the same way you want to take care of your car or your house. It’s just part of the ownership manual. That’s the core idea.

I have spoken about the ways that body positivity is self love, externalised - in saying that, I have also reminded myself and others that love is not always hype, it is not always enjoyment or celebration. Love is nurturing, love is balancing the tough times with the soft places to land. Love is taking better care of something than you would for something that doesn’t mean as much to you (and why, always, is it ourself that is that thing?).

When we become able to embrace and nurture ourselves, being compassionate and offering rest, we also instill the belief within ourselves that others also need that. We find ourselves less and less interested in passing judgement on who’s allowed to have that love. 

Toxic body image beliefs have held us hostage and made us believe that to be entitled to love yourself, you must meet multiple standards: beauty, health, body. All things based on a Euro-centric, colonised ideal that could only exist through eradicating the beauty of others either literally or through oppression.

As I said in my episode about thin privilege, and many times since, the privilege of being able to walk down the street without being judged, without having to fear that someone will make assumptions about you, is one afforded much more often to people living in thin bodies.

But … nobody is immune to body image scrutiny. 

This - this is why I still follow, support and am real life friends with so many people with slim bodies. The reality of how cruel mainstream media can make us when comparing bodies is stark.

I have been the subject of so many nasty remarks about my specific body, from thin people - some who openly found me to be something repellent, to be hated or pitied or both, and some who pretended (maybe even to themselves) to be my friends. 

I could list some of the really hurtful things I remember having said to me - there are lots - but I have so many other things I could be doing with my time so instead I will focus on why I think these people are the reason I want to continue to see thin people reminding each other why they are also OK. Why they also should accept themselves.

Do you think someone who loves their own body and feels confident in its worth and value and how that should be determined would spend time judging what others do with their bodies?

I am not talking about weight loss gurus who purport to love their bodies because they’ve been smashing down kale smoothies and want to ‘help’ - that’s concern trolling and health morality and it belongs in the bin.

I mean - if someone was genuinely OK with themselves, was able to fully recover from any negative body image or eating disorder and detox from beauty ideals and outdated/incorrect medical BS like the BMI, would they be better to be around? Would they become considerably more likely to support their friends no matter their body shape, size, race, ability or gender?

I am inclined to believe they would. I’ve said it before - hurt people hurt people, and happy people are happy when other people are too. 

So when you see thin people reminding each other that bodies can exist without constant self-scrutiny, think of why they need that. Those people will see the same value in others as they see in themselves, because they will know that bodies are homes for our souls and minds, a vessel that is valuable simply because it exists.

If this world was suddenly filled with people for whom it is made saying ‘No! Unmake this! This only works for some of us, and that’s not cool’, then that would be a world where many more of us would be happier and healthier.

There is no need for people who hold privilege to speak OVER those of us who still experience the oppression of being someone who isn’t all the things society has taught us to be or strive to be - and that is why this podcast exists - why I do what I do. I want the people who come to listen to what I have to say to understand that I firmly believe we all have a place and a role in making things better - and how we get there is by using our voice when it is needed.

So if you get a chance to speak up against the system, I encourage you to do it. Because your body, my body - every body is a good body,