The BODcast - S2: E3
Welcome back to Episode Three, Season 2 of The BODcast! Today we are talking parasocial relationships!
The first time I ever heard about this concept was through the legendary Flex Mami.
She spoke about it and that led me to Googling - which if you’re familiar with Flex, is the 100% correct way to educate yourself about things because it’s FREE and available 24/7!
Have you ever thought ‘I know if I met that person we would be best friends!’ about a celebrity or someone you follow online?
I’m not talking about meeting people through social media, like in a Facebook group - I mean that moment where you tell yourself you’re the sixth member of the Spice Girls after watching SpiceWorld 100 times… no? Just me?
Wikipedia explains that “A parasocial interaction, an exposure that garners interest in a persona, becomes a parasocial relationship after repeated exposure to the media persona causes the media user to develop illusions of intimacy, friendship, and identification.”
A better way to explain what that might look like in real life (seeing as the term ‘parasocial interaction’ was coined in 1956) might be when you start following someone on Instagram after seeing them on TV.
This can result in a ‘relationship’ where one person is exerting more energy into the interactions, feeling a genuine connection with someone who is not taking the same interest.
The most common time we see parasocial relationships discussed is after the death of a celebrity.
We hear how that person made people feel, through their work, and how ‘knowing them’ was so impactful. Is this sentiment genuine? Yes. The attachment we feel in a parasocial interaction is real, even though we may not genuinely have the connection with the subject of that attachment.
Social media gives us the chance to interact directly with people - taking them from a persona to a person. We see their homes, their family, their daily errands - and they become part of our daily online life.
So, is this unhealthy?
Some say yes. Because of the easy access to online content, especially for younger people, this has normalised becoming attached to or even ‘obsessed with’ someone famous.
Now, if you know how much time I spent consuming information about Mel B (yep, the Spice Girls were and always will be the ultimate parasocial relationship for me), then you know this could become unhealthy. Instead of begging to buy every magazine that showed even the tiniest paparazzi image of your favourite celeb, you’re following them on every social media, interaction with them and hoping that they will notice you.
It’s the real life version of imagining you would be ‘discovered’ as a model while on holidays with your family and suddenly become rich and famous, or that the storyline of The Princess Diaries would come true for you.
The trouble with this is that you’re genuinely waiting for this person to reply - because unlike a fan letter, your DM or comment can’t get lost in the mail. It could become a negative thing when a celeb doesn’t respond to you after multiple attempts to get their attention.
It could also mean an increase in social avoidance - like the time I stayed home reading Breaking Dawn instead of going to the club on a Saturday night.
However, others argue that this could be a positive social step - allowing people to connect over their shared interest in someone creates a fandom where they instead become friends with each other.
So while parasocial relationships are not abnormal or unhealthy, it’s wise to exercise caution or think critically about your real connection to your favourite follows.
It’s a widely held belief (and one that I share) that people who hold a large platform have a responsibility to ensure that they uphold their personal values - and I say it that way, because I think it’s up to us as the people following celebrities online to realise that we follow them for who they are, not who we want them to be.
Because more than ever, the contentious nature of online content creation/consumption means that the same real people we love to get a little love heart on our DM from are being subjected to abuse, daily demands for action and trolling.
These are negative parasocial relationships - toxic, one-sided, and without a lot of empathy. These are the interactions that say ‘you should speak about this, why don’t you comment on xyz,’ or simply comments about that person’s looks or behaviour that are not cool.
It can also be people who simply start talking at them or asking for information without even a greeting or simple polite conversation.
I am so lucky that I rarely experience this kind of behaviour from all the rad humans that follow me - and for that I am always grateful!
I hope this little lesson has been useful - if you loved it, let me know! Until next week, remember: your body, my body, every body is a good body.
